It's a little weird trying to write a travel blog about my semi permanent home, but here goes. I was looking through old Taipei and Melbourne posts (the few that I actually did) and was inspired to do something similar for Fort Morgan.

This first entry is about my trip to San Diego for the PCT50, more about Fort Morgan can wait haha.  At this time last year a friend of mine, Tim Ray, ran the PCT50 and died 36 hours later from a heart attack.  Tim was an inspiration to me and everyone else who was lucky enough to know him. He did everything with an unabashed, infectious joy, and he was someone that I really felt privileged to spend time with.  When I heard about his death, I was furtively checking my email during my first day of wireline school.  I was of course devastated but tried to carry on with my move to Oklahoma and the crash course in wireline.  I planted tomatoes and herbs on my balcony and refused to eat another banana because I wanted to do something to acknowledge my friend in some small way that would make him happy.  I made it through the summer and the move to Colorado in that way, but then my grandpa shot himself and an old high school friend died of cancer and the tragedies really started piling up.  It was hard not being around people that understood what a loss occurred.  I decided that I wanted to do the PCT50 back in December, since I needed to do something to give myself closure and 'honor' the memory of the great Tim Ray.  However, that decision didn't spurr a lot of action in my life, since it was difficult to do any sort of real training with my work schedule.  Getting down to the month before the race, it didn't look like I was going to be able to get the days off work and I thought maybe that was for the best anyhow since I had not gotten myself in great shape.  Then Jordan dumped me and I knew that making the trip to San Diego was something I had to do for myself.  The one person I was able to be open to about my grief cut out of my life and I needed to rediscover my inner strength.  I ended up getting sent to pressure school during my days off, so I was able to use those days owed to make it to the race! Sante helped me get into the sold out race and I was all of a sudden going to be running 50 miles that weekend!!

I was super duper apprehensive about the race, but I had a smidge of confidence because I have always been pretty successful at trying races of different lengths and locomotions. I was afraid this was going to be my first failure (I have never not finished a race, knock on wood!).   I didn't have the least bit of a plan going into the race, I carried a large backpack with nothing too useful and borrowed a bike bottle from Sante as my only water.  I was a little hungover from the night before, a whole nother story, and I was, to say the least, very very worried about my ability to finish.  Now I will not make any more excuses, that was more than enough already.

Inevitably, the race started and I set myself up in the back as everyone trotted over the start line.  Ultra race starts are miles from triathlon swim starts where the elbows are flying as everyone fights to catch the first swim pack.  The start is more like leaving for a long trip, I even hugged Sante and Daniel goodbye/goodluck as if I wasn't sure when I would see them again.  After that, there is not much to say except that I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran andv ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran....................... you get the point :-)

A few highlights, at about mile 12 when I was very tentatively thinking that the race was going well and I may actually make it, I saw a sign that I will never forget:

                                     "How do you eat an ELEPHANT?"
                                           "ONE BITE AT A TIME!"

That is a quote that has stuck with me and will stick with me for a very long time.  It came in handy whenever I began to doubt I would finish, I just thought about taking one step at a time and stopped worrying about the umpteen miles to come.  The next highlight is running into Bethany around mile 18.  She started the race an hour early, so I wasn't sure if I would see her and at that point I had a very slight idea of what time or mile it was.  I stuck with her for some miles and we talked about Tim and grief and I realized that that conversation was exactly what I was looking for when I made the trip in the first place.  It had been a year since Tim's death and I had not been able to have a serious conversation with anyone about the tragedy.  I would not have wanted it any other way either, running in Tim's great footsteps, contemplating death and life and grief and what made Tim the Great Tim Ray and remembering the good times was precisely what the doctor ordered.

I dropped Bethany at some point and made it to the last aid station.  I finally decided that I was in fact going to finish the race when I saw Adam and Rachel and they told me I was doing awesome and to ditch my stupid backpack haha.  I ran into the aid station with them following me and very loopily told the support I was leaving my backpack, picked up my playing card and tried running the wrong direction out of the aid station.  Typical.  During all that excitement I somehow got totally amped and ran wayyyy too fast to the turn around point.  It was definitely the highest runner's high of my day.  I ran into Diana from TCSD and she tried to convince me I was in first place, but I was pretty sure I knew better.  I made it to the turn around point and started heading back, went back through that last aid station somehow thinking I had 30 miles left to run and ate a million boiled potatoes dipped in salt and told everyone it was the best food I had ever eaten... what can I say, I was loopy haha.

Shortly after I left the aid station my high began to fade and I had to settle in for a long hard run.  But whatever, that it exactly what I was expecting.  I ran into white spandex guy and he provided some entertainment for awhile with polite small talk and he encouraged me to keep up with him.  I made it through two more aid stations without too much excitement and white spandex guy dropped me at one of them, I really need to learn how to get what I need and get through quicker! At the aid station at mile 33ish, my stomach was finally too distressed to eat more potatoes, so I didn't eat anything, just grabbed whatever weird sports drink they had.  The people staffing the aid station told me I was five minutes behind the lead girl and she wasn't looking too strong.  I was stoked and took off without even grabbing any food to take with me.  Whatever, I don't need calories................

But I did need calories.  And (as I was warned previously) I need much more water for the upcoming 7-mile stretch than I had in the biking bottle I carried. I was running along fine, knowing I had 17-ish downhill-ish miles to go, knowing I was getting tired, but knowing I would make it and wanting to catch the lead girl and impress Ben, Daniel and Sante.  I was slowly getting weaker and more disoriented, and all of a sudden my boogers were red and my nose started bleeding.  'Well this is a bad sign.......' I slowed down and pinched my nose for awhile and asked every hiker how far to next aid station and got a wide range of answers.  What to do?? I realized there was nothing to do but keep running, so once the bleeding stopped I did.  I finally saw the aid station down below and managed to run to it.

Once at the FINAL aid station I got water dumped one my head and drank a million glasses of water.  I thought I would throw all the water up, but didn't want to so I didn't eat any calories there either.......... must have been my biggest mistake of the day.  I was tired of weird sports drinks so I filled my bottle with plain water and walked out of the aid station.  It was downhill, but my legs were shot and my stomach was rebelling in a big way so I figured I would walk awhile.  I was starting to feel pretty down when I saw Adam and his friend.  Adam had been planning on pacing Daniel the rest of the way (whatever) but Daniel dropped out so he ran/walked the rest of the way back with me.  THANK YOU ADAM!!  I was probably the worst company ever, giving single or double word answers to everything he asked but I hope he knew I was in pain and was very glad he ran with me.  We crossed the road and were told there were 4 miles left (what???!!) and at about one mile to go were passed by a girl (noooooooooooo.....) I kept trying to run, but each time it was a pathetic effort and I would trip and one time actually fall toward a steep downhill.  FINALLY, we went under an underpass that marked the last section before the finish.  I was determined to at least run the last section, no matter how silly that is.

I did manage to run over the finish line and immediately felt like simultaneously barfing, crying, celebrating, hugging, and sleeping.  John Martinez, the race director didn't seem too surprised at the wreck I was and kindly led me to the shade and told me to cool down before anything else.  I felt very nauseous and kept trying to throw up, but realized I had absolutely nothing in my stomach after running the last 17 miles with no calorie intake whatsoever.  I had managed to snag third place and finish the race in a bit over 10 hours.  Everyone was asking me when I would do another race like this and I felt so miserable that I was just like NEVER EVER!!!!

After a good hour plus of that, I managed to drink a few sips of pepsi and felt one million, this time take that number literally, times better.  Almost immediately I was able to eat some real food and started to feel like a human being again.  Skip a few weeks foward and I am planning on running the Rim to Rim to Rim in the Grand Canyon this November.  I will use the million (literal) lessons I learned and hopefully never reach the depths I did PCT50.  Though, I must say, I am glad I did sink as far as I did because I learned so much and found so much strength inside myself I had no idea existed.

Best experience I have had in a long time.